i often say that writing a paper is like a process of pregnancy then delivering a baby. and i also often say that even writing a paper is harder than those two process of women reproduction. but actually, having pregnancy and delivering a baby are much much much harder that it is :P
when you are pregnant, you lose your energy. no mater how old your pregnancy is. in the beginning of your pregnancy, you have to deal with morning sickness and hormonal changes that make you become very sensitive to any smells and tastes. in this situation, what you 'd like to do is just laying down, sleeping, and crying. will it change when your pregnancy grows? the situation will change but it's not significant. your smell sensitivity and appetite to eat are back, but other challenges come which are psychical and psychological changes. heart burning, difficult to breath, loosing energy, baby hitting inside your womb at anytime, belly stretching and feeling hard when the baby is stretching and it causes heart beating more often. you will not feel comfortable to stand or walk for long as you have less energy. it's good i now live in a cold country like netherlands, so i don't sweat that much or almost never sweat.
thus laying down with a bunch of pillows and sleeping are the most comfortable activities for me. emotionally, i need people surrounding me understand my situation, giving love and taking care of me. offering helps and concerns about my need. small things that i am not comfortable with can hurt me easily. that's why i think, it is very hard for pregnant woman to live alone and far a way without company, love, care from beloved one, her husband, kids, mother, and family. this is what i feel right now, and this has been the most difficult situation i ever have in my life. when feeling difficult comes i feel sad and can just cry while calling ayah. but he cannot do anything as we are in different places. ayah can only asks me, is there anybody who can help you? i say, no. every body is busy with her/his own responsibility. i don't want to bother them too as my situation is my own responsibility. sometime i think, why God gives me this scenario? ah i don't know.
so in that situation, can my brain work properly? in the situation when my emotion is more active than other aspects of my body? in the condition where my body is stressful because physical and psychological changes? i would say no. my brain is not working well. i feel difficult to understand what people say, to read, to articulate, to write. i really enjoy sleeping and doing fun things, being loved by beloved one, being treated like kids, princess, and think only small things that make me happy. so how could i write a paper in this situation???
ahh, but again, God has made me in this situation; the situation that is not a right time for pregnant woman like me. i could only ask Him for His love, care, and strength. i am nothing without all those blessings.
when you are pregnant, you lose your energy. no mater how old your pregnancy is. in the beginning of your pregnancy, you have to deal with morning sickness and hormonal changes that make you become very sensitive to any smells and tastes. in this situation, what you 'd like to do is just laying down, sleeping, and crying. will it change when your pregnancy grows? the situation will change but it's not significant. your smell sensitivity and appetite to eat are back, but other challenges come which are psychical and psychological changes. heart burning, difficult to breath, loosing energy, baby hitting inside your womb at anytime, belly stretching and feeling hard when the baby is stretching and it causes heart beating more often. you will not feel comfortable to stand or walk for long as you have less energy. it's good i now live in a cold country like netherlands, so i don't sweat that much or almost never sweat.
thus laying down with a bunch of pillows and sleeping are the most comfortable activities for me. emotionally, i need people surrounding me understand my situation, giving love and taking care of me. offering helps and concerns about my need. small things that i am not comfortable with can hurt me easily. that's why i think, it is very hard for pregnant woman to live alone and far a way without company, love, care from beloved one, her husband, kids, mother, and family. this is what i feel right now, and this has been the most difficult situation i ever have in my life. when feeling difficult comes i feel sad and can just cry while calling ayah. but he cannot do anything as we are in different places. ayah can only asks me, is there anybody who can help you? i say, no. every body is busy with her/his own responsibility. i don't want to bother them too as my situation is my own responsibility. sometime i think, why God gives me this scenario? ah i don't know.
so in that situation, can my brain work properly? in the situation when my emotion is more active than other aspects of my body? in the condition where my body is stressful because physical and psychological changes? i would say no. my brain is not working well. i feel difficult to understand what people say, to read, to articulate, to write. i really enjoy sleeping and doing fun things, being loved by beloved one, being treated like kids, princess, and think only small things that make me happy. so how could i write a paper in this situation???
ahh, but again, God has made me in this situation; the situation that is not a right time for pregnant woman like me. i could only ask Him for His love, care, and strength. i am nothing without all those blessings.
1 komentar:
thanks for sharing
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